I'll be totaly transparent and go way back for ya'll. As a young teenager, we knew something wasn't right but it took until I was 18 to be diagnosed with Endometriosis. In 2009, at the age of 18, I married my husband and we immediately jumped right in to trying to conceive. We were young and new very little about what we were doing or how to handle my Endo pain. Because we were both in college still, and because we had not yet gotten pregnant, we decided that after almost 2 years, we would take a break. This was something we discussed with my OBGYN as well who put me on birth control to help control the pain and discomfort from Endo. So for about 2 years I was on birth control. At exactly 2 years later we decided to talk to my OBGYN and set a plan in place to try and conceive. We would try to conceive for some time and if we were not successful, he would schedule a Laparoscopic with Excision of Endo and an HSG test. In February 2015, that is what we did. Thankfully, my tubes were clear but they did in fact burn a significant amount of Endo away. However, there were some in areas they didn't want to damage. We decided that maybe the excision would help and tried to conceive for a few months after this. Within 3 months, Endo had grown back and was more viscious this time around. I was in horrendous pain but was not ready to give up so I planned on working through the pain to have our miracle baby. Unfortunately it didn't work out that way for us. At this point, I was trying EVERYTHING. I'm talking, legs in the air, essential oils, basically any wives tales people could feed to me. I did start Provera in October 2014, as my periods were not regular and I had waited quite a while for AF to show. We used our OPK (ovulation prediction kits) regularly but that is when I realized that I rarely ovulated, if at all. When I discussed this with my OBGYN, he talked to me about Clomid. Scott also did a sperm analysis, which came back normal. So, in April of 2015 I started Clomid, I did 3 rounds of this. Clomid wasn't horrible after the first dose. That first dose was a doozy and had me an emotional wreck. Of course, Clomid didn't work. This is when I became extremely discouraged. I felt as if my body could not perform the one duty it was made for, to carry a child. There were a lot of nights spent crying in pints of Ice Cream and a lot of snuggles from my very supportive husband and our loved ones. I was distraught and so was he. At this point our OBGYN explained that this goes beyond his scope of practive and suggested we see a Fertility Specialist.
In September 2015 we met our Fertility Specialist, Dr. Bundren, for the first time. He was able to see in a transvaginal ultrasound that my Endo was still very much present. At this time, he also diagnosed me with PCOS. Dr. Bundren explained everything in great detail with us, discussed options, started me on Metformin (for the PCOS) and then waited for my records to come. I felt motivated, like finally we were getting somewhere and this would be it for us. We both left feeling very excited for what was next. However, our doctor was 2 hours away and we had no clue that we'd spend the next few years driving there and back more times than I could ever count. Dr. Bundren wanted to start me on Lupron Depot for my Endo. We discussed this thoroughly. Because he was on a team of doctors who coined this treatment plan, we decided to do it. The side effects were so scary and there was a lot of research and faith put into it. I also had to take Medical Leave from work due to side effects, which was very hard on me mentally. We would do 6 shots, one a month and we increased my Metformin. For the first time in my life, Lupron introduced me to Anxiety. No one can ever explain to someone (who hasn't experienced it) what anxiety feels like but I thought I was having a heart attack. My family was with me through it and there were a lot of emotional rollercoasters through these few months. Anger, I mean ANGER and a lot of bouts of illness. In this time, Scott had his second sperm analysis which was a litle more in depth than our previous one with the OBGYN. This is when we learned he had low Morphology. He was given instructions and some medication to try but his third sperm analysis revealed that it had only worsened. My last Lupron shot was in March. I then did birth control for 2 months, until I could regulate cycles, and the plan was to try to conceive naturally until August.
My Endometriosis had improved! But, we did not get pregnant post-Lupron. I was devastated. Due to scheduling purposes and the fact that we weren't ready to give up, we continued to try naturally until November 2017. This is when our doctor decided to set us down and talk IVF. We had exhausted other options and an IUI wasn't really in the cards for us, according to our doctor. Financially we were drained but we wanted to do everything we could possibly do to make this happen for us. Our family and friends helped in such a large way and in December we did IVF. We ended up doing a frozen transfer of two embryos. We had 7 all together, but 1 eventually stopped progressing and was no good. They implanted two embryos and we waited...and waited...for what felt like forever. We have spent so much time waiting that this felt like I was seconds away from losing my mind. We received a call days later to notify us that our IVF had failed. FAILED. Do you know how many times the word FAIL had been on my brain in these long years of trying?! I was a mess. My husband was a mess. Neither of us knew how to handle this news and our families were lost on how to comfort us. I don't know what your beliefs are, those of you reading this...but if I did not have God in all this, I could not have kept going. I don't know how I would've ever made it past all the lows.
We discussed things together and decided that the best thing financially and mentally for us to do would be to take a year long break. We just couldn't keep doing this and we were heart broken. I stopped every single medication, I prayed so hard and let God take over. In February we finally felt alive again and I had accepted this wait, more than that, I was grateful for it. March 4th, Scott asked me to take a pregnancy test because I was late. I thought he was crazy and felt like an idiot for doing it. It was positive! Today we are 10 weeks pregnant with the child God planned for us to have all along. His plan was there all along and all it took was patience. I know that we were supposed to go through all of this, our marriage is so much stronger because of it. My faith is so much stronger today.
We are expecting our little miracle November 9!